You are the reason that when it gets cold in november seems like it’s freezin.

You are the reason that i don’t believe in finding the love i need.

DECIEVING.

What am i so afraid of?

This is what dreams are supposed to be made of. The people I don’t have time to hang with always look at me and say the same shit….

….”You promised me you would never change.”

I saw a picture of you today, you were standing there holding your guitar in front of your bed. The yellow curtains shining with sunlight behind your curly hair. All your things laid around the shelves. And that bed, the bed we has sex on for the first time together. After 4 years, we finally let all of those feelings out. I remember you being under me, such a weird feeling. I remember looking up at your window, looking at the yellow drapes. I remember when your sister came home early, and we jumped up and got dressed and you snuck me out through the backdoor. I remember that whole day.

Good times.

DECIEVING, YOU, YOU, YOU ARE

Through all the shit you made me feel.. 

Through all those fucking tears and fights.

All those fucking ridiculous nights. 

After all these months, weeks and days. I still cannot forgive you.

I hope you don’t come home from afghanistan. You make my life miserable just knowing you are in the same country as me.

The day you left i felt a big weight lift off my shoulders.

YOU ARE THE SALT IN MY FUCKING WOUNDS.

yesterday when we were getting high, you were invited. you would have liked it.

We woke up with our bathing suits on. Jumping into the pool was the first thing we did. (Other than you eating a bowl of cap’n crunch while i grabbed us towels.) It felt so good. Like a huge morning bath, with the one i love. And we laughed and we kissed and you wrapped my legs around you. We floated together. I kissed all the beads of chlorine running down your cheeks.

I laid on the raft all morning while the boys did tricks off the diving board.

i feel like taking a shower and doing a whole new makeover on myself.

BTW, i said the L word to brock lastnight.

He said it back